This is the first time (and he says it may be the LAST) my husband has expressed a desire to write for my blog. He has given his advice over the years and read what I've written but he has never put his heart down on paper for others to read.. until now!

 I would like to introduce you to my husband, Kevin...

"I’m going to start this story by being focused on me, like I have been most of my life.  I want to talk about my life and (my stuff) and the changes the Lord has brought into our lives.

I was an owner operator trucker starting in 1983. After my oldest son turned 21 I decided to bring him into the company, so we incorporated and I bought another truck for him to drive. Soon after that I bought another truck and put a driver in it. Over the next few years I kept buying more trucks and expanding the business. My goal was to set things up for my wife and kids so that if anything happened to me they would be set for life. The problem was I was doing it for them, but they thought they were doing it for me, notice how God is not in the equation. We were up to 7 of our own trucks and brokering up to 50 or 60 outside trucks daily. The stress of the business was destroying my sons family life because we would drive 10 to 16 hours a day then come home and have to work on equipment till all hours of the night.   It finally came to a head after one of our trucks was involved in a fatality accident about four years ago. For the first time we sat down and I found out how much my family hated the stress of the business. So we shut everything down except my own truck.

Since our income had dropped we knew we needed to sell our ranchette. Our home didn’t sell for a year and a half. I was willing to work myself to the bone in order to not lose the house. I generally worked no less than ten hours a day to a more realistic 15 - 18 hours a day.

We had our home sold on four different occasions and for whatever reason it would always fall through,        (maybe because we were seeing what we could get with all that money). Through  circumstances beyond our control we ended up selling the place for $500,000.00 less than we were asking.  Once it sold we moved  back closer to all our kids. We bought  a house that cost more than we wanted to spend because it was simply a gorgeous place that had everything my wife wanted inside and a back yard that was to die for. That is a funny play on words because I realize now that was exactly what was happening, I was slowly dying spiritually, and physically trying to keep my stuff.

Some would say we were well off during those years. We weren’t rich  by American standards but well off. I told my dear wife many times that I didn’t mind working hard so I could have more stuff. That was my goal in life. Years ago we were very involved in our church and wanted to serve God with all that was within us. We paid cash  for everything and were able to tithe 10- 20 % of our gross not our net. The Lord blessed us financially. Pretty soon I started spending the Lords blessings on my stuff  instead of on spreading the kingdom of God. In three years time we have gone from owning a rental in town, and living in a 3,000sf home on a ten acre ranchette with a second home and a 40 x 60 shop, to a 1600sf home in town with a pool, out door kitchen, custom kitchen inside with lots of upgrades everywhere, to the currant location we are about to move into which is 300sf. Yes I said 300sf.

 I want to be very clear when I say that our small new home is a blessing from God. I have been so consumed with creating and getting stuff that I forgot that the purpose of my life was to glorify God, not my own desires. We have lost everything according to the worlds standards, but I can truly see that God has set me free from my stuff so I am freed up to glorify Him, and do what ever He wants.

Satan was using  my stuff to keep me from the fullness of what God had for me. People think sometimes that just because you are saved and serving God that you are ok, not at all. I was an elder at our church through all this. My wife and I served in the church any way we could and did whatever we were asked to do, but slowly because of having to work so many hours to keep up with everything I started getting spiritually and physically burnt out. It felt like I was working seven days a week between work, keeping up our property and working at church. I had lost that servants heart. I just couldn’t be asked to take on anymore. I was losing my relationship with the people at church because I didn’t feel like I had anything left to give them on top of everything else we were dealing with. So our Shepherd pastor released us from the church so we could find some place closer to where we live now to be able to connect with people again. (We moved about 45 mins. from our old church). We still haven‘t found a new home church.

Last night our old church had it’s harvest dinner and we were asked to be there. Oh what a blessing those people truly are. They love us and miss us almost as much as we do them. It was like coming home. We were welcomed like the prodigal son was welcomed home in Luke 15. The feast was not for us but they loved us and welcomed us with open arms. After all those feelings of, please don’t ask me for anything else  I have nothing to give, to, God what can I do to bless you and others. I have come full circle now to where I am more concerned with Gods kingdom and not concerned with my own.

The Lord was merciful to me in getting rid of all my stuff slowly. He knew I couldn’t do it all at once, so He allowed me to be able to sell some when we left the ranch to move to town, and slowly over this last year I have been able to sell off most everything else that I have left.

My body was physically coming apart over this last year.   I went from wanting to do whatever I had to keep my stuff, to being willing to do whatever I could to get out of pain. I am a big man who doesn’t show much emotion, but over this last year I have been in tears over the pain in my body many times. I believe the Lord knew what was ahead for me and was preparing me for it. I have to lean on my Heavenly Father to get me through the pain each day now. I know He will not give me more than I am able to bare. God has truly blessed us since I had to quit work. We have been able to get rid of a lot of our stuff, and He has blessed us with a studio apartment (rent free ) until my disability checks start coming in.

It is truly freeing not having to worry about my stuff any longer. I now have time to focus on God and what He wants me to do for the Kingdom. I want to be clear that I have no idea if our present circumstances are  Gods discipline because of my past actions, or if this is simply my Heavenly Father taking care of me. I just know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose Rom. 8:28. I know that I love Him and have been called by Him so what else matters? You can’t take your stuff with you when you die so it is of no value. God is HOLY, HOLY, HOLY and I only deserve His wrath, but because of what Christ did for me on that cross taking on my sin and the sin of the world I have been forgiven. I know that He who has began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus, Phil.1:6. Phil 3:7-16

“But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ — the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.  I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you.  Only let us live up to what we have already attained. ”

I have always hated life and didn’t understand why God put me here on earth. I was never suicidal but I really didn’t care if I lived. I believe now that this time in my life may be exactly why God created me. I don’t know how much time the Lord will give me here on earth, and believe me I would rather be with Him than be here, but I know that from this day forward I will do everything I can to further the kingdom of God, that is why I am here for this time. He has used my whole miserable life to bring me to this place of total surrender to Him.

Please don’t feel sorry for us, this is the biggest and greatest blessing anybody could ever receive from the Lord. I don’t know how we will find the money to drive around to do what He will have us do, but I know that He will supply all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus, Phil.4:19. This is about to become the greatest season of our lives. I wrote this to encourage others going through similar things in their lives. I have never done anything like this before, but I hope the Lord will use it to glorify Him.

I want to acknowledge some people who helped me gain a greater knowledge of God. First and most important my precious wife Georgene, who stuck by me before I was saved and since.. Pastor Jerry Quillen for bringing me to the knowledge of Christ Jesus and especially my brother, my friend, my pastor Shepherd Mike Bettencourt who truly brought me to a deeper understanding of Gods Word and His true HOLINESS. You are awesome!"
  

"Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer
among thy people . . . Thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not
suffer sin upon him."— Leviticus
19:16,Leviticus
19: 17

Tale-bearing emits a threefold poison; for it injures the
teller, the hearer, and the person concerning whom the tale is told. Whether the
report be true or false, we are by this precept of God's Word forbidden to
spread it. The reputations of the Lord's people should be very precious in our
sight, and we should count it shame to help the devil to dishonour the Church
and the name of the Lord. Some tongues need a bridle rather than a spur. Many
glory in pulling down their brethren, as if thereby they raised themselves.
Noah's wise sons cast a mantle over their father, and he who exposed him earned
a fearful curse. We may ourselves one of these dark days need forbearance and
silence from our brethren, let us render it cheerfully to those who require it
now. Be this our family rule, and our personal bond—SPEAK EVIL OF NO MAN.

The Holy Spirit, however, permits us to censure sin, and
prescribes the way in which we are to do it. It must be done by rebuking our
brother to his face, not by railing behind his back. This course is manly,
brotherly, Christlike, and under God's blessing will be useful. Does the flesh
shrink from it? Then we must lay the greater stress upon our conscience, and
keep ourselves to the work, lest by suffering sin upon our friend we become
ourselves partakers of it. Hundreds have been saved from gross sins by the
timely, wise, affectionate warnings of faithful ministers and brethren. Our Lord
Jesus has set us a gracious example of how to deal with erring friends in His
warning given to Peter, the prayer with which He preceded it, and the gentle way
in which He bore with Peter's boastful denial that he needed such a caution.

Charles Spurgeon

I haven't posted anything of a personal nature for quite some time. Life continues to be full and the days fly by so quickly.  I'm settling into a new schedule now that I'm babysitting in my home 3 days a week. My husband and I are very happy with this arrangement. I'm able to bring in enough money to pay for our groceries plus earn a little extra.

Last Monday my husband was laid off from his job. The week following was full of many conversations about his employment future and where we were headed.  He can no longer do many of the things he used to due to arthritis in his back and his pain level is so high on some days that he can barely function. I was becoming very concerned at what his future held for him  if he continued on his job. But, I also knew that he would not quit. So, the decision was made for us.  Because of his limitations we decided that it was time to file for disability. 

Because our income will be dropping more than half we will be facing another move. Our medical insurance costs as much as a house payment. We can't afford to pay for  medical insurance and pay for the home we currently own so it will go on the market this week. We are so blessed that my Aunt has offered to let us live in a studio apartment on her farm. We'll be downsizing from a 1525 square foot home  to 300 square feet.  

I was telling my husband this afternoon that I am so thankful the Lord didn't take us to this decision in one single leap. He has been slowing getting us to this point over the past 3 years. We downsized from a 2700 square foot home with a 40x40 shop to a 1525 square foot home a year ago. We sold and gave away a LOT of things in order to downsize into this home. Because of the downsizing we did last year it will make this next move much easier.

So that is my update. I wanted you to know why I won't be posting much in the next few months. I have a mountain of work ahead of me.

*~*~*

Here are just a few highlights over the past few months.

My girls and I have a monthly appointment where we take turns helping in each others home.
It was my turn last month.  The girls helped me paint the wood under our patio so it will be protected before winter hits.

 The girls oftentimes set me to an organizational project when we meet in their homes. Last time I organized my son-in-love's office. That was a bit intimidating. I was so concerned I was going to lose an important item but he told me I did a good job. We'll be heading to my daughter-in-love's house soon and I hear she plans on a day of window and blind washing. Oh joy!   But, that is the beauty of this arrangement because you have extra hands for those oftentimes dreaded jobs! Plus, we enjoy each others company and a yummy lunch.

*~*~*

My husband invited his coworkers over for a barbecue last month. He has a heart for the men he works with (I guess I should put this in past tense since he no longer has a job) and wanted to show them how much he cares. We handed out goodie bags when they left. Inside each bag was a gospel tract along with some candy. We prayed and prayed that God would use the day and the gospel tract to draw them to Christ. 

*~*~*

Five of my grandchildren that live close by spent the night. The ages range from 3-10 years old. We had a GRAND time! They played soccer in the back yard, made chocolate chip cookies, watched a cartoon movie and played Play Station. We read stories before they went to bed and talked about God. How I love these dear little souls. Bapa and I pray continually that the Lord will give their parents wisdom in training them and that God will draw and save them at an early age.

So, those are just a FEW of the highlights over the past few months. 

*~*~

Life is an adventure while we're on this earth. I'm praying for God's grace to humbly 'bow' to His sovereign will in our lives. All His dealings are administered in love for His children. I can already see God working this trial together for our good and His glory because it has exposed some unbiblical thinking.  We've had our moments where we've lamented over how much we've lost financially the past 3 to 4 years.  But, those regrets have passed quickly and the Lord is giving tremendous grace to embrace His will. I think often of what Job said in response to his losses.. "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21

He has reminded us that this is not really our TRUE home. We are ambassadors representing a heavenly city (2 Cor. 5:20).  He has reminded us that WE CAN learn to be content with little (Phil. 4:11,12) and that our life does not consist in the abundance of things we own (Luke 12:15). We are finding joy in the journey and for that we give Him our thanks! I'm actually get excited about owning less things to care for so that I can  invest the 'extra time' I spent housekeeping into His kingdom.

So.. there you have it! Never a boring moment in our household these days! Love to you all!

O Lord,

Thou hast
in love to my soul

delivered it

from the pit

of

corruption:

Thou hast
cast

all my sins

behind Thy back

Isaiah 38:17 (NIV)

I found this writing by Winslow on a sweet little site called, Grace Gems! The newest study for my "God Notebook" is "God is our Portion".

I'm finding several examples for the word 'portion' in the scriptures. One is the portion assigned a person. It may be an inheritance or our lot in life. A second example of 'portion' points to GOD being our portion. Both situations refer to an allotment of sorts. Something assigned. A particular, specific amount in which we are to be satisfied.

Today I was thinking
about how I oftentimes do not like the 'portion' that God has assigned.
Oh, of course, I would never say those words exactly.. but I say it in
other ways by complaining about my circumstances or by being anxious
instead of trusting and resting in His Sovereign Wisdom. 

God has assigned me my
portion today and whatever He has assigned He WILL provide the needed
grace to live it out for His glory! Psalms 16:5

Do I live as if I believe that? Not always!

All, all is ours!

(Winslow,
"Daily Need Divinely Supplied" 1870)

"The Lord is my portion, says my soul;
 therefore I will hope in Him."  Lament. 3:24

It is our great privilege, beloved, that we live in a
'portionless' world. When God parceled out the land
of Canaan among the tribes of Israel, He made an
exception in the tribe of Levi, to whom He said,
"You shall have no inheritance in the land, neither
shall you have any part among them;" assigning as
His reason, "I am your share and your inheritance."

The gospel teaching of this is obvious and significant.

As the Lord's true priesthood, this world is not our
portion, nor earth our rest. It may have required
some painful discipline, and no small measure of faith,
on the part of the devout Levite, as he gazed upon the
fertile meadows, the watered plains, and the vine clad
hills of the Promised Land, before he was made willing
to relinquish it all for Him who is invisible.

It needs no little teaching and discipline
of our God, and no little faith on our part,
before we are led to give up . . .
  the world,
  the creature,
  self,
  and all,
for Christ; satisfied to have the Lord alone as
our Portion, and heaven only as our inheritance.

"The Lord is my portion, says my soul." His love
to us was so great, that when He could give no
greater proof of that love, He gave HIMSELF!
Nothing more could have expressed the yearnings
of His heart, nothing less could have satisfied the
desires of ours.

And oh, what a Portion is God!

All that He is, and all that He has is ours . . .
  every attribute of His being is over us,
  every perfection of His nature encircles us,
  every pulse of His heart beats for us,
  every glance of His eye smiles upon us.

We dwell in God, and God dwells in us.

It is not the world which is our portion, but
HE who made, upholds and governs the world.

It is not the creature who is our portion, but
the Lord of angels and the Creator of men.

Infinite portion!
Illimitable power!
Immeasurable grace!
Boundless love!
All satisfying good!
All, all is ours!

And what a Portion, O my soul, is Christ . . .
  a divine Christ,
  a redeeming Christ,
  a full Christ,
  a sympathizing Christ,
  an ever present Christ,
  an ever precious Christ,
  an ever loving Christ!

"Lord, I bless You for the discipline that brought
me to realize what a divine, all satisfying Portion
I have in Yourself. You took from me an earthly
portion, only to enrich me with a Heavenly one.
You removed from me the human prop upon which
I too fondly and idolatrously leaned, that I might
learn what Christ was, as my soul's all sufficient,
all satisfying, and everlasting Portion. I can now
admire the wisdom, and adore the love, that blasted
my gourds and emptied me from vessel to vessel;
that, rising superior to the broken staff, the drooping
flower, and the failing spring of creature good, I
might claim my portion as a true spiritual Levite
in Yourself alone."

I was given an idea by my friend, Givengrace, to start a notebook on 'God'. What could be better?! I started with collecting scriptures on God being our STRENGTH. YummO! I wanted to share the scriptures I found with you because it blessed me SO much! This has helped me find a new focus for my time spent with the Lord in the mornings. I'm making a "God Notebook" where I can easily retrieve my notes on God when I want to be refreshed. I can't wait to get started on the next one.

My husband and I are going to God for our strength more and more as our bodies and mind age. We are reminding ourselves that our strength does come from the Lord and He assigns it as He wills.

Enjoy!

*~*

 Paul states in Philippians 3:10 “that I may know Him and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed unto His death.”

"Here in the sub-Sahara, it seemed that the weaker people were, the harder they had to lean on God - the harder they leaned on him, the greater their joy. It was so different in America, I thought. In the West, we think God exists to make our lives happy, more meaningful and trouble-free. Suffering is a hateful word, and we do anything to eradicate it, medicate it, circumvent it, or divorce it, building hospitals and institutions to alleviate suffering. But in Ghana, people seemed more ready to come to God in empty-handed spiritual poverty, taking from his hand whatever he might offer." Joni Eareckson Tada in the God I Love.

Georgene's two-cents worth:  It's hard to be prideful when you consider your nothing but a cracked pot! 

Seek the LORD

while he may be found;

 call on him

    while he is near.

 Isaiah 55:6

(NIV)