March 8, 2009
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It’s the little foxes ….
My days consist of many new things lately. The old familiar rhythm of working in my home for most of my married life has been replaced with a more frantic pace where half of my day is spent in different surroundings. I am no longer just a ‘keeper at home’ but now I work part-time outside my home. It’s not how I envisioned my ‘middle age years’. I miss being home. But, for the present time it’s a necessity and the best way I can help my husband.
I would like to be transparent and share something with you in hope that it may help someone avoid the mistakes I have made.
I am suffering the consequences of previous actions.
Those of you who have been reading my blog for the past few years know that shortly after our move to the country our trucking business was effected financially by the economy. Our business continued to go in the red so we finally made the decision to downsize and put our home up for sale. We received many offers over the following 1 1/2 years but each offer fell through. Finally, we received a solid offer with a 30 day escrow. The sale seemed to be going alone just fine. We found a few homes that would fit into our budget but no one would return our calls. Time was ticking away and my husband did not want to move in with anyone so we were feeling a time crunch. We finally found a home that we really liked and put an offer on it which was accepted. We thought we were on our way. How shocked we were to find out that our home appraised for $50,000.00 less than our selling price (which was already half the original listed price).
When the appraisal came back for $50,000.00 less my husband said that we needed to pull out of the offer we had on the other home because our house payment would be higher than he wanted. My heart sank. I was tired. I was weary. It had been a long two years and I just wanted to move and have no more problems. I didn’t want to look for another home. When I told our real estate agent that my husband wanted to pull out she came back with the reply that the owners of the house were threatening to sue us for breech of contract.
This is where I wish I could go back and change my response!
Instead of trusting that God was leading me through my husband I ended up not fully supporting him in his decision. There was no outward rebellious actions. There were no demands to do it my way. Only a quiet siding with the realtor. I didn’t trust his decision. It was an inward heart attitude that subtly reflected itself in my actions.
So, we moved into our lovely home and things seemed to be going just fine. Until….
Four months later when my husband’s work just stopped with no prospect of starting again until possibly April. Thankfully, he found another job shortly afterwards but the pay was much less and we couldn’t meet all of our expenses. We looked into selling our home and also refinancing but neither option ended up being a possibility. We were faced with losing our home. So, the only solution seemed to point to me finding a job which I did. The Lord was gracious and blessed me with a good paying part-time job right around the corner from where we live. I’m very thankful for His provision.
Here is the ironically sad part to this story. If I had trusted my husband’s leadership in this situation and stood with him against the realtor I would not be working outside my home because his new job would have covered all of our expenses. I am working to pay the difference between what he ‘wanted’ in a house payment and what we are actually paying.
I’ve tried to practice submission as the bible commands my entire marriage. My heart’s desire is to fully obey God’s Word and to encourage my husband’s leadership in our home. Yet, still after all these years, it only takes one moment to tear down something I worked years to preserve… my role as a keeper at home. There is a good chance that I’m going to be suffering the consequences of my actions for quite some time unless the Lord chooses to deliver us financially.
Nearly every morning that I leave my home for work I’m reminded that I am suffering the consequences of not submitting to my husband. I pray and hope that I will learn this lesson well so that I will pass it the next time it comes around. And trust me.. there will be a next time!
I pray that the Lord will use my confession to help one of you escape the consequences I am now reaping.
May God bless you!
Comments (15)
Wow, that’s quite a testimony! I appreciate you sharing it. It’s so easy to make a mistake like that, and the consequences can be much bigger than we ever dreamed. Your repentant heart shows so clearly, though, that I’m sure God is pleased with where it has taken you. I’m praying that he will also make a way of escape for you.
The title you chose is what made me come over here. Dh and I just did a presentation at church today about “Catching the Little Foxes,” just discussing the little things that can damage relationships–interesting that you happened to choose that right now.
My friend. Over the years you have taught me by your words and by your actions. I understand your confession about not standing by your man – but please do not take on more responsibility in this that you actually own. Remember, everything passes God’s desk for approval or veto. I know how hard it is to correctly mix our free will with God being first cause in EVERYTHING.
The thought of you leaving your home every morning with that guilt breaks my heart and I’m sure breaks the heart of the One who died for that guilt.
Yes, sin leaves scars but God sees your heart – please don’t grieve Him by your carrying this burden completely on your own
I love you.
As far as what you are learning, I think that is a personal matter between the Lord and you, but thanks for sharing your thoughts. Maybe you will find working outside the home a blessing in disguise? I find now that my children are grown I really enjoy working part time outside the home, and there is still plenty of time to get done at home those things which need to be done…although I’m sure it’s different for everyone.
Thank you for sharing this. I think we underestimate how much we bring on ourselves. I think about some things from my life that could have been easier, if I had made more trusting choices (of my husband and of my Lord). I know we are not supposed to live in the past, and I don’t, but I think it’s really good to be able to honestly learn from our own lives. Ultimately, God works all things together for our good, but I do believe there is a perfect will and a permissive will of God. (Is that the right term?) God is FAITHFUL to us, even in our error, and that is the grand testimony you share here. God is FAITHFUL. I really respect your honestly. I wish all us sisters could be so honest with each other all the time.
Thank you and God bless you!
P.S. I think grieving for our mistakes is far different from feeling guilty.
Thanks for being transparent. I agree, we do pay a price for not walking in God’s way, but remember that God knows that we are human.
Jesus came to give us abundant life. Embrace His abundance as you adjust to a new “normal” in your life. Use the opportunity to be a blessing “where you are.” He is the one who gives beauty for ashes.
It is so easy to go our own way, isn’t it? Just remember that God works all things together for good, even the consequences of our selfish sinful thoughts and ways. As you go to work each day, remember His grace and mercy, and thank Him for the opportunity you may have to influence others for Him.
@Mrs_LeFevour - You’re always filled with grace towards me! Thank you!
I really don’t believe I am carrying the guilt. I truly see the discipline as being good and coming from the hands of a loving God. He wants only what is best for His glory and my good and I KNOW in my being that He is using this to mold me more into the image of Christ! I rest in that. Yet, at the same time I want to learn in His school of lessons.
Does that make sense?
Love you! Still waiting to do coffee with you and Jackie!
I appreciate your post. I’m sure you will touch the lives of many others in a positive way for our Lord as you work outside of the home. Prayers for you and yours.
Thank you, my friend, for your candor. I suppose that I too, am responsible for the burdens we must bear for me not completely trusting my husbands leadership at times. The Lord does forgive us when we confess…and now we must just obey for today what He has placed before us. Thank you for your encouragement and the admonition to us to let our husbands lead. Blessed day to you!
Thank you for sharing a life lesson with us.
Thanks so much for sharing
Have faith that better times are ahead!
Love, love, love that you have such a teaching spirit! I will take your words to heart and remember them always.
As Always your transparency is such a blessing to others. Thank you for sharing your heart. I love you.
Thank you for being transparent and sharing this with us. It certainly spoke to me and I have taken your exhortation and sobering reminder to heart. How quickly we forget that God’s way is the best way! We need to remind one another of this truth again and again.
May the Lord bless your husband with a higher income soon so that you can be back at home where your heart is.
Thank you so very much for sharing so honestly. I am so often much more outwardly vocal in my lack of submission & this powerful reminder really helped me realize that the “fruit” of “getting our way” is so often bitter.