May 22, 2007
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The wife.. the bread-MAKER
We have a contingency offer on our house so I’m trying to use my spare time to clean out files. We, mostly likely, will be moving to a smaller home and I’ll have less office space. So, I decided to condense a few of my bible study note file boxes so that I can fit them in the drawers in one of my desks.
I came across this quote and remember how much I enjoyed it a few years back. I copied it for my daughter and she placed it on her refrigerator for a long time. I found that I was needing the encouragement again. It seems there is always the temptation, when times are tougher financially, to think that the woman needs to find a job. Rarely, from what I have seen and experiece, does this really help a family. Much more money seems to be lost in extra meals eaten out due to her exhaustion, a nicer wardrobe or child care. Not to mention what may be lost in the communication, instruction and relationships in the home. Some women have no choice in the situation but are commanded by their husbands to work but more times than not this is not the case.
I’m finding that there is SO much more I could be doing in my home to save money. It just takes a little elbow grease and time.
Charles Spurgeon once said that the wife “is not the bread-winner, but the bread-maker. She earns more at home than any wages she can get abroad. He has his money best spent who has the best wife. The husband may earn money, but only the wife can save it.”
Comments (14)
There is alot of truth in that!
I agree 100% How timely! I recently discussed with a G’ma who readily babysits with a baby so Ma Ma can work how disappointed I am in Christian women who take over someone else’s baby so Mom can work and she can glean money from the Mom as she babysits. As older women we are to teach the younger women to be keepers of the home an not take their money so we can stay home and profit from it……….no one can replace a mother and I find it very egotistic when us old gals step in and act like Mother is replaceable……A carefully run home can save and make better use of money than leaving home and letting the home run it’s self………………….I think The Lord rewards obedience……..Within the Christian community we see many sheep following society’s standards……we’re slow learners. Society now knows TV programing actually hurts families………just as most Christian families have TV’s blaring 24/7…….Society now admits there is no one better to raise kids than their mothers……..just as most Christian mothers are in the work force………As more and more women are returning to their homes more and more Christian women are joining the work force…………….No wonder The Lord calls us sheep…….I’ll try not to trip as I step off my soap box
Amen and Amen!!
How true! Unfortunately, here in Croatia, the economy is such that usually the wife has to work. The average income is about $600/month and almost everything is more expensive here than in the US. One advantage they have is one of the grandmas usually lives with them, so that saves them money on day care.
My neighbors think I’m weird for staying home, esp after they found out I have a college degree (which is very difficult to get here). I am grateful that it’s a conviction that my husband and I came to from the beginning. God is always good to provide.
Statistics have shown that men who have a wife at home, not in the marketplace, are paid and promoted on their job more than men with working wives.
Thanks for sharing this quote and your thoughts. I’ve always considered the desire to get a job a temptation, too. Over the 18 years of our marriage, I have succumb and have had a few short-lived, part-time jobs here and there, but with each and every job God made it clear to me that my place was home. A couple of those jobs were hard to leave—they were very personally very gratifying. One was literally my “dream job.” BUT…at what price? Would my family be what it is today, if I had put myself first? I don’t think so.
I know so many working wives that
Oops…that last sentence got cut off. I was going to say:
I know so many working wives that I’ve learned to be very careful about sharingmy opinion. People are very quickly offended.
Amen! My daughter has just recently been able to quit her job and this has been her second week as a stay at home mom. She has a 3 year old and expecting another baby in November.
She and I have already discussed ways that she can show her husband that it will be a blessing and financially saving for her to be at home.
The main thing she told him, “I’ve always been taught to stay at home. I’ve never known anything different because my mother was at home with me.”
I remember when I became a Christian that one of my strongest convictions was to be a stay at home mom. My mother worked my entire life and I vowed not to do the same.
Blessings!
Paula
Amen and Amen. Being a working MOM you sure do miss a lot of things. Being a military mom you miss even more. Both my boys are going into the military to serve this great country. Our oldest will be going back to Iraq this summer. They now know and understand why I stayed in the military on the Reserve side. I admire moms who stay at home. If we didn’t need two or three vehicles, the satalite TV, etc. cell phones for everyone. More moms could stay home. We have started to down size. Less is more. Great post.
It is hard for women in Poland, too. They also have very low incomes, but one of my “stay-at-home” friends told me that if women really wanted to stay at home, they could, but they would have to cut back on their cost of living and women aren’t willing to do that. They want a career and that is their goal. I have felt by some women that I’m priviledged to be ABLE to stay at home, that I don’t HAVE to work.
This is so true. I have found when I work that it doesn’t really help as much as I originally thought it would. Instead, we have saved so much more money when I am taking care of the home and looking for ways to save money.
I wholeheartedly agree that any moms with kids still home need to be home when they’re home. That’s the best. That’s the ideal. But sometimes life doesn’t always turn out the way we would like.
Until recently, my husband worked two jobs (both of them very physical), and at 53, neither of us was happy with that. He was alway tired and felt tremendous pressure. We lived a very frugal lifestyle, already. My youngest was away at college. Dh and I felt no qualms about my working part time. We believe God provided the perfect job for me – flexible hours, good pay, and as long as I’m diligent, everything else can be kept up. No, my house isn’t as clean all the time as I would like, and I do struggle with that. But it’s clean enough. And my husband and I are a team. We basically have traditional roles, but they’re not strict and binding, and we work together to help each other in making the financial provision, keeping the house, being hospitable, working in the garden, taking daytrips, serving at church, etc..
I could quit and we wound be able to survive, but just barely. Is that God’s will? Is there something I’m not seeing? Is there something inherently godly in living on only the husband’s income when the wife is free and healthy and capable of helping in this area? It would free me up to study more, but I get up early and study now and am available at my church to serve the women. We’d have to have only one car. We’d probably never go out or on family vacations unless God provided a miracle.
I’ve thought and prayed about this for many years. I’ve felt guilty when I’ve read things written by women who seem to feel it’s less godly to work under any circumstances. I’ve questioned God about why He has not provided the way I thought He would, especially since I love homemaking so much. I would be perfectly content and always very busy if I were to stay home.
But I remember the pressure I was always under to be frugal when the kids were young and home. Being frugal can be fun and a challenge when you don’t really have to or are doing it out of conviction or to just put money in savings. But I remember times when I would have tears in my eyes in a grocery store just amazed at how expensive fresh fruit was, or get upset with my husband when I was being so frugal but he wanted to go out to dinner and a movie for a special treat, but I could make that $30 feed our family for days.
Don’t get me wrong – God sustained me, and I loved every moment home with my kids even though we had to be so frugal (while living in a rich town). It was a challenge and He gave me grace to rise to the occasion. But now that they’re grown, even though it would not be my first choice, my husband and I have seen that the benefits of my working part time far outweigh how we’d have to live if I didn’t help in this area. And finally, I guess the bottom line is that I don’t see any Scriptural support for a wife not being able to help with financial provision. The Proverbs 31 wife is actually praised for selling items and buying a vineyard from her profits.
Georgene and anyone else, am I glaringly wrong and just don’t see it (Biblically speaking, of course)? I take correction very well when I can see Biblically that I’m wrong, so don’t be afraid of offending me. But Georgene and everyone without kids at home, I think that as long as your husbands don’t mind, you are free to get a part time job, if even for a season, or God may even want to use it as a ministry for you. That’s how my job as been for me. I’m blessed to be used as a light in a dark place. ~Pam
Our pastor did a sermon on Mother’s Day. He said there was a study done to calculate a woman’s wages, should she be compensated for what she does at home. The study compared work force wages with the moms work. The final talley was about $140,000 a year! Amazing. That did not include the jewel crowns, reward of children, a heavenly mansion, nor streets of gold in the retirement plan!!
Another study was done showing that a women working an average job clears $1 a month profit. Our pastor who quoted this told the women to stay home and the church would send them their dollar!
It is a challenge, but, as my husband always says, aren’t all good thing in life. Certainly the art of the peservering saint is only one that can be painted by the Holy Spirit as we walk in faith. I think the Lord, so often, wants us to LET go of control and be quiet and trust. I’ve sure seen it in our lives. When we have fallen in debt, the Heavenly father has been there to restore us. We have had it tough, but I am thankful I have not sacrificed the Life of Titus 2 for a job and shallow kudos.
Don’t grow weary, you will reap in good time!!
Love,
Sharon
such a great quote….I think I’ll have write that one down and save it for some special occasion….it seems you have sparked quite a conversation on this one….my experience…also…has been that God rewarded my yielding my career and learning to be a SAHM….now, I’ve been graduated to SAHW, I guess…(since the kids are grown:)
You certainly elicited a lot of response on this post! It strikes deeply into the hearts of today’s women. I’ve almost always been a stay-at-home, with the exception of part-time work for two years and then again for seven years, in order to help out my parents. But although I’ve always taught it to my daughters, they both are now young working mothers. I wish they were home, but I can’t make their decisions for them. It’s important to not be judgmental. Certainly being a role model for this is very important. Another issue in our modern society is single mothers. There are so many of them! What a difficult life they have. Your earlier post about being a Titus 2 woman makes great suggestions on older women helping these younger ones. I love the idea and want to try to add this to my own life. I’ve been doing it, but I need to be MUCH more pro-active with it. Thanks so very much for your instructional writing, so thoughtfully conceived and presented. I get so much from it!