The Voice of a Wife - Part 2
Just as a wife's voice can be used for a husband's good it can also be used to drive him nuts! Scripture says..
... a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping. Proverbs 19: 13
Have you ever laid in bed at night and heard a drippy faucet leaking in the other room? Drip, drIP, dRIP, DRIP! The longer you listen to it the LOUDER it gets. It's annoying, it drives you nuts, you can't sleep or think of anything else until you stop that leak! This is the comparison Proverbs is using to paint the picture of a wife who constantly quarrels with her husband over matters.
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. Proverbs 27:15
The Hebrew word for ‘quarrelsome’ means a ‘contest‘. I was trying to think through why the original language would use the word ‘contest’ for quarrelsome. I thought perhaps it was like a sports game where you have two contending parties where each one is determined to win. So it must be with a quarrelsome wife. She is determined to have her own way no matter what the cost. Solomon said in this Proverbs that it was better to live in the smallest space in the whole house than share it with a quarrelsome wife.
Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9
Oftentimes, a wife will quarrel with her husband in the name of godliness. She thinks that if she voices her concerns JUST ONE MORE TIME that he will finally open his eyes and stop what he is doing. Most likely he has shut his ears somewhere around the umpteenth time you mentioned it.
I think this was the first Scripture my husband memorized years ago when we first married. Pretty sad commentary on the kind of wife I used to be. I still have to watch this tendency. I think the enemy uses fear more than any other emotion to tempt me to try and persuade (I like that word SO much better than NAG!) my husband. I think I am doing a ‘good thing’ by talking to my husband about a concern and to continue talking about it even past the point that it is still effective. I convince myself that it's for his good. But, this type of ’voice’ can lead into quarrels.
Delilah knew this art of nagging. She nagged Samson until he was so vexed that he wanted to die!!
Judg 16:16: With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.
Genesis 3:16 exclaims that part of the curse of the fall was that the woman would want to master and rule her husband but that he would rule over her. Women from that day until now have had to deal with that strong desire to control and rule their husbands. Wives want their own way! We think we know what is best and we push and contend with our husbands until we get it. What an unhappy and ungodly home this makes. Not to mention what it teaches our children about how to respond in submission under authority.
A wife must always remember, although she is to use her voice for good towards her husband, she must never use it to continually beat him over the head. There is a place in a Christian marriage for a wife to appeal, exhort and sometimes even rebuke her husband (1 Thess. 5:14, Rom. 15:14, Col. 1:28) in a godly manner but she must be careful not to enter into a quarrelsome or nagging mode if she sees no results from her words.
... starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam: do drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. Proverbs 17:14
Once we have encouraged our husbands to obey God we must then set it before the Lord and ask for His help in changing their hearts.
2 Tim 2:24-26 - And the Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses {and escape} from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will.
Comments (6)
I love your xanga!
Hi and nice to meet you! Yeah we don't even know what it is to be persecuted for Christ. Have a great day and God bless yoU!
Thank you! thank you! I needed to hear that. I am now under conviction. I have been trying to 'persuade' my husband on a certain matter. I know he tuned me out days ago. I will do much better after reading this. I just needed a good reminder!
God bless you and keep up the great posts! They are there for a reason.
Faye
Thanks for you Xanga post today. I needed to be reminded not to nag before my husband gets home from Hunting! LOL.
Wonderful Post,
Happy Halloween
Mary
Hello. I just have a feeling that maybe I can talk to you about something. I am 29, I have been a christian since I was 13. My dh is a christian. My parents are not. When I was young, I had to take myself to church, they wouldn't go, and they only permitted me to go if I did not talk about such topics with them. Now I have three children, and I live very close to my mom and step-father. They still aren't saved. It is scary for me to speak to them about religious matters. I really don't like conflict of any kind. My mom is the same way, and also won't discuss religion. My step-dad is the opposite, loves conflict, but you can't convince him of anything. My children spend a good deal of time with them. I have had to correct my oldest son on beliefs of the existance of ghosts, and the age of the dinosaurs a couple of times. I tell him the Bible says there are no ghosts, maybe demons, but no ghosts. He comes home and tells me I am wrong, because poppy says that there are. Or that I am wrong, dinosaurs did not live when man did, etc. Today I found out that he had a lengthy argument with them about the dinosaur issue, I had just discussed recently with him, again, about the truth that can be found in the Bible concerning these topics. Apparently, he had my mom quite angry. They told me about what they thought were his silly beliefs, I backed him up. My mom left the room, and my step-dad proceeded to tell me how rediculous my beliefs were. I know that they think I have been brain-washed, and that I am brain-washing my kids. I have a feeling that they will always want to make the "truth" available to my children. I don't feel God would have me here in this situation if it weren't meant to be. I don't want to keep my children away from "granny and poppy", because they are very very close to each other. When we were getting ready to leave, my son tried to give his granny his Bible, but she wouldn't take it. He said he wanted her to read it. He asked her why she didn't believe in God, and she just changed the subject, and he started to ask her if she knew about Jesus, but she continued talking about something else. It breaks my heart. He loves them so, and he wants them to love God too, but I just don't know if it will happen. He is 6yo and such a brave little soldier. I mean to tell him tomorrow that I am so proud of him. This topic is such a sensitive one with my parents, it can easily get volitile. I don't know how to handle this! I don't know what to do! Should I tell them not to talk to my children about a,b,and c....or do I just try to tell my children that some people believe this, but those who love God, and believe in his holy word believe this, and pray and pray and pray and hope that God will grow their faith into something strong enough to withstand their grandparent's doubts? Do I tell my children not to talk to "granny and poppy" about certain things, or do I leave it alone? I ask this because you've raised your children, and you have grandchildren, so you can possible see this from both sides. I really don't want to offend my parents. I will not compromise my beliefs in order to keep them happy, but at the same time, I don't want to create unnecessary tension in the family. I also respect your opinion. I feel you are in touch with God, and possibly, maybe you might have some ideas as to how to handle such a touchy situation? Monique
Ouch! Too true of us women many times!