October 23, 2005

• DO WE REALLY LOVE OUR CHILDREN?

  
  

  It seems like a contradiction to look at a precious newborn baby and think of them as depraved and sinful.They are so helpless and precious!  Although, by the time they near their second birthday, if not before, we can see the fact so clearly. We have given birth to a sinner!   Romans 3:10,11

  
  

  Just withhold something they want, Mama, and watch the fireworks! A frown, scowl, yelling, hitting, biting or a big time “NO”.

  
  

  A clear plan for disaster in child training is to give in to these sinful manipulations for fear of upsetting or displeasing the child or just out of pure weariness or laziness. It’s not the easy path for a Mother to resist and train a child continually throughout the day.  The easy path is to give in to these demands just to keep peace. But, where does this type of training lead? Where will this child’s pattern of making demands and manipulation take him by the time he is an adult?

  
  

   Let’s break it down.  Let’s say that your child whines for a soda pop or asks for treats but you have said “No, dear. It’s too close to dinner time.” Immediately, the child begins to pout, frown and cry.  How do you respond? Do you immediately give in to that child’s demand just to keep peace or do you firmly keep your resolve and discipline him for his rebellious response? Or let’s say that a child is never made to eat anything good for his body but is always allowed to make his own decision of what he will eat. Let’s say that you have tried to get him to eat healthy things but as soon as he protests you back off and allow him to eat what he wants.  What is this child being taught?

  
  

  You have taught him several things, dear Mother. The number one lesson …. you have just trained him to not obey his parents. You have allowed him to break God’s command that tells a child to obey his parents. You have strengthened his resolve to sin instead of training him how to restrain sin in his life.

  
  

  “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother”  – which is the first commandment with a promise – “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Eph. 6:1

  
  

  Secondly, you have taught your child that if he makes a scene, yells loud enough or pouts he can get what he wants. You are helping him to form patterns that will take him into adulthood. Will this training help him or harm him in his pursuit of godliness as he grows older? What kind of spouse will this child become if his demands are given in to daily? The patterns and habits our children establish in the home will be carried into their own homes. Who they are as our children will be who they will be to their spouses.

  
  

  Thirdly, a mother’s inconsistency and lack of parental authority is revealing a lack of true biblical love towards her child. Every godly mother wants what is best for her children. She wants to train up children who will love God, be a blessings as a spouse and to their church and community. Scripture says that if a Mother does not discipline her child that she actually hates that child.  Why? Because she is loving herself more than the child. She may think she is giving in to his demands only because she hates to see him cry and be unhappy. But, in reality she is loving her own self-ease and peace more than the child’s best interest. This is not true love for our child.

  
  

  Biblical love is …  a Mother  that lays aside her own self-ease and does what is best for her child’s soul. A godly Mother will do all within her power to train her child to obey God and His Word out of the love for the child’s soul and his relationship towards His God.

  
  

  He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. Proverbs 13:24

  • 12:35 pm
  • 14 Comments