Being ‘middle aged’ has it’s challenges just as every season of life but there are also a lot of positive things to say about getting older. There is a sense of regained freedom that we haven’t been acquainted with since the early years of marriage before children started to arrive. Once the children arrived we spent several decades pouring our lives into training them.  Sleepless nights with wee ones, babies who didn’t want to nurse, long physically draining days trying to keep up with toddlers, and the challenge of training teenagers and preparing them to ‘go solo’. Good memories, possibly some painful memories.. all woven into a beautiful tapestry called family that fills our hearts.

So, now we find ourselves at a crossroads.. so to speak. The opportunity for more babies to fill our arms is probably not a reality for most of us. If we are blessed with grandchildren they help to fill that longing. What a great plan of God to invent grandmother’s.. a kind plan for older mothers to still be surrounded with little ones to hold with less of the physical toil involved.

Because our strength is starting to dwindle (just a tad) and the insurmountable task of child training is behind us I can see how easy it would be to sit back and let the remaining years drift away in fruitless pursuits.  Let’s face it, we worked hard the past 20 plus years.  It would take no effort to join the masses who spend their final years traveling, sleeping away the mornings, reading romance novels, maintaining old hobbies and learning new ones, antique shopping .. the list is endless.  Now, while the activities I listed may not be sinful (except possibly the romance novels?) as an occasional pursuit I can see how a continual lifestyle of focusing on our own pleasures could steal our effectiveness for being used to build God’s kingdom and bring Him glory.

God’s Word is not silent when speaking to older women. Here are just a few passages that speak directly to us:

1 Tim 5:9-16: This passage is a list of those eligible for ministry according to Pastor John MacArthur. *

* I should have a reputation for good works

* I should show hospitality.

* I should wash the feet of the saints.

* I should care for the afflicted.

* I should devote myself to every good work.

* I should help take care of the widow’s in my family.

Another passage of scripture that should be directing my days after my children are grown is Titus 2:3-5:

* I am to be reverent in my behavior.

* I am not to slander.

* I am not to be a slave to much wine.

* I am to teach what is good.

* I am to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind submissive to their own husbands. (which means I must be pursuing these things, also!) 

-  I am to do these things that the word of God may not be blasphemed.  

These are only two Scriptures among many that should be directing the decision on how I spend my last days here on earth.  We didn’t even look at the scriptures that speak to using our spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4) to build up the body of Christ or the long list of ‘One Anothers’.

Crafts, shopping as a recreation,  and ‘collecting’ used to monopolize more time in my younger years. The days are fleeting and I likely have less days left on this earth than I’ve already lived. I don’t want to let those hours slip through my hands but my desire is to live a principled, determined life built on Scripture. Does that mean that I will never sew anything again for the rest of my life? Probably not since I sewed two pillowcases to save money this past week. Or take a vacation? The difference is that I don’t want my life focused around entertaining myself to fill the hours and squeeze out the time to obey God’s specific commands.  I want the bulk of my days to be built around pursuits that are commanded in His Word and then fill the LEFTOVER time with other pleasures.

 I heard it once explained this way… imagine a glass jar as representing your life.. you then fill the jar with large rocks which represent God’s commands for your life. Next,  pour sand in to fill up the holes. The sand represents those activities not commanded in Scripture. I think that is a wonderful visual of the importance that should be placed on God’s commands for our life.

An older woman has more opportunities to serve now that her children are grown. Once our daily duties are met at home we can use the extra time that once was spent in training our children to minister to the body of Christ. Are there needs in your local church that are not being met? Can you come alongside your husband and support him in his ministry? Are there widows or orphans in your family that need help? Are you ministering to the sick and afflicted? Are you using your spiritual gift to build up the body of Christ?

May our remaining years bring God more glory than our younger ones.  Let’s get to work, ladies!

 

 

 

 

 *  (There is no evidence that all the widows on the list were supported by the church. Some no doubt were, while others had resources of their own. The issue of support stops at verse 8, and Paul moves to a new topic in verse 9. The list Paul refers to was not, as some have argued, the list of those widows eligible for support. Rather, it was the list of those eligible for ministry. In verses 9-10 Paul gives the requirements for being on the list. (from The MacArthur New Testament Commentary, Copyright © Moody Press and John MacArthur, Jr., 1983-2007.))

 

Trying to obey the command to be hospitable while living in a barn has revealed some interesting things about myself that I didn’t know or didn’t want to face.  I never thought of myself as a materialistic person.  I never thought material things were important to me or that I tied material things to my reputation. We lived most of our married life in older homes and from paycheck to paycheck. It’s only been the last 15 years that things changed for us financially.  We lived in several nice homes but I never imagined that pride had set in due to what we owned.  It wasn’t until we moved into a barn that I began to see my pride surface.   Our situation has brought this sin to the surface and for that I am grateful because it clearly is opposite of everything Christ represented. (He was born in a barn! *Smile*)

I think learning to be content with your present situation involves embracing it as directly from God’s hand. We are thankful for our little place. It’s a great blessing to be rent free while we wait for a determination from Social Security. I want to thrive where God has placed us… not hide in embarrassment. God promises to withhold no good thing from those who are His and I believe He has fulfilled that promise in this provision. I’ve reminded myself often that ‘this’ and all it entails is a GOOD THING.. a precious gift given from the hand of God.

Lord willing, I will write soon about the practical things I’m  learning concerning hospitality in a small place.

 

 

 
My friend Pam came for lunch.

(Kevin said something silly and made us laugh!)

My honey is sick with a bad cold this morning so we’re staying home from church. I’m doing some studies on my own and then we’ll watch some teaching tapes together. I also hope to snuggle into a nice long nap after lunch (we didn’t get much sleep last night because he was coughing) and listen to Hinds Feet on High Places. I’ll miss being at church and hearing God’s Word and hugging the beloved. The following Scriptures were part of my study this morning. It caused me to think about my life and evaluate if I am seeking to obey God in ((all)) areas of my life.  I know the heart can be deceitful and I do not want to build my life upon sinking sand…

Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did”. Genesis 6:22

Thus Moses did; according to all that the LORD had commanded him, so he did. Exodus 40:16

Moreover, by them Your servant is warned; In keeping them there is great reward. Psalm 19:11

Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20

While Jesus was saying these things, one of the women in the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, “Blessed is the womb that bore You and the breasts at which You nursed.” But He said, “On the contrary, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it” Luke 11:27-28

If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them. John 13:17

This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. John 15:12-14

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:2-3

“Thou, Lord, hast made me glad through Thy work.”
— Psalm 92:4

Do you believe that your sins are forgiven, and that Christ has made a full atonement for them? Then what a joyful Christian you ought to be! How you should live above the common trials and troubles of the world! Since sin is forgiven, can it matter what happens to you now? Luther said, “Smite, Lord, smite, for my sin is forgiven; if Thou hast but forgiven me, smite as hard as Thou wilt”; and in a similar spirit you may say, “Send sickness, poverty, losses, crosses, persecution, what Thou wilt, Thou hast forgiven me, and my soul is glad.” Christian, if thou art thus saved, whilst thou art glad, be grateful and loving. Cling to that cross which took thy sin away; serve thou Him who served thee. “I beseech you therefore, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Let not your zeal evaporate in some little ebullition of song. Show your love in expressive tokens. Love the brethren of Him who loved you. If there be a Mephibosheth anywhere who is lame or halt, help him for Jonathan’s sake. If there be a poor tried believer, weep with him, and bear his cross for the sake of Him who wept for thee and carried thy sins. Since thou art thus forgiven freely for Christ’s sake, go and tell to others the joyful news of pardoning mercy. Be not contented with this unspeakable blessing for thyself alone, but publish abroad the story of the cross. Holy gladness and holy boldness will make you a good preacher, and all the world will be a pulpit for you to preach in. Cheerful holiness is the most forcible of sermons, but the Lord must give it you. Seek it this morning before you go into the world. When it is the Lord’s work in which we rejoice, we need not be afraid of being too glad.

 

 

Everything has changed … yet nothing has changed!

That is what I was thinking this afternoon at the end of a full day of work in my little home. Yes, my surroundings have changed… my space is smaller.. much smaller!  I am still doing many of the duties I did in a home ten times this size.. just on a smaller scale. There are still dishes to be done daily, furniture to be dusted, a bed to be made and a floor to be cleaned.

The ‘fun’ part is that I can finish my housework lickity split! I love that! Since we moved into our small space I’m able to spend more time studying God’s Word, reading good books, ministering to His people and studying areas that interest me in God’s Word. I hope I don’t ever have to give that up for a big home again.

I’m content… happy as a bug in a rug… thank you Lord for this wonderful gift of time and freedom!

Believers love Jesus with a deeper affection then they dare to give to any other being. They would sooner lose father and mother then part with Christ. They hold all earthly comforts with a loose hand, but they carry Him fast locked in their bosoms. They voluntarily deny themselves for His sake, but they are not to be driven to deny Him. It is scant love which the fire of persecution can dry up; the true believer’s love is a deeper stream than this. Men have laboured to divide the faithful from their Master, but their attempts have been fruitless in every age. Neither crowns of honour, now frowns of anger, have untied this more than Gordian knot. This is no every-day attachment which the world’s power may at length dissolve. Neither man nor devil have found a key which opens this lock. Never has the craft of Satan been more at fault than when he has exercised it in seeking to rend in sunder this union of two divinely welded hearts. It is written, and nothing can blot out the sentence, “The upright love Thee.” The intensity of the love of the upright, however, is not so much to be judged by what it appears as by what the upright long for. It is our daily lament that we cannot love enough. Would that our hearts were capable of holding more, and reaching further. Like Samuel Rutherford, we sigh and cry, “Oh, for as much love as would go round about the earth, and over heaven—yea, the heaven of heavens, and ten thousand worlds—that I might let all out upon fair, fair, only fair Christ.” Alas! our longest reach is but a span of love, and our affection is but as a drop of a bucket compared with His deserts. Measure our love by our intentions, and it is high indeed; ’tis thus, we trust, our Lord doth judge of it. Oh, that we could give all the love in all hearts in one great mass, a gathering together of all loves to Him who is altogether lovely!

“The upright love Thee”
— Song of Solomon 1:4

* Morning and Evening Devotionals by Charles Spurgeon

What are the first thoughts that come to mind when I mention faith? Do you immediately think of Abraham? Or do you recall the long list of faithful heroes found in the 11th chapter of Hebrews? These are the type of examples I thought of when faith was mentioned, and most assuredly, their stories have been preserved for our example and encouragement. But, I’ve come to see that the total realm in which I viewed men and women of faith was very limited. I had reserved faith for those circumstances that were out of the ordinary. Such as, the hard financial times where there was not enough money to meet the bills, or the death of a loved one or a sudden illness. I never once associated faith with my daily tasks involving homemaking or the daily pressures that went along with being a wife and a mother.

The Lord began teaching me these simple lessons of faith over 10 years ago when I first began a home business. At the time my children were still living at home. My days were already full between helping my husband with his business, homeschooling and trying to keep up the laundry, dishes and other homemaking chores. So, once my business began to grow it pushed me way beyond what I felt I was physically and emotionally able to do. There never seemed to be enough time to clean everything that needed to be cleaned in the house, or spend the amount of time the children needed in their school work let alone run the business. At times I was short in my response to my children and most of the time I felt more like a drill sergeant than their mother. There was work to be done and heaven help them if they didn’t cooperate NOW. I didn’t know how to live peacefully under this type of enormous pressure. I began to have physical problems. At times when I was under stress my chest felt like a ton of bricks was sitting on it and I had a hard time breathing. It felt like I had cotton in my lungs and my breathing would become labored. I finally went to a heart doctor and they ran their myriad of tests. Their final conclusion was that I was suffering from ‘good old-fashioned anxiety’. (That is what the Dr. called it).

I couldn’t believe it! Anxiety? Not a very nice word to associate with a woman who calls herself a Christian. I began to search His Word for answers and cried out for His help to show me how to bring Him glory in the daily round of my days. I haven’t mastered these lessons. I’m still in school!

As I evaluated my thoughts during those times I began to see that I was anxious/fearful about finishing the goals I had set for the day. “I” looked at the mountain of work and found myself kicking into high gear emotionally and physically to accomplish everything that needed to be done. “I” had my expectations of how “my” home, children, and life should be and worked towards keeping that image. Behind my anxiousness was the final fear, ‘What if someone came to the house and it was out of order?’ I had people coming to my property throughout the day to buy books so there was always the chance they would visit my home, too. I had other fears, too. What if my children didn’t finish their textbooks? Would they end up not succeeding in life? Would others think I had failed at homeschooling? What if the business shop was out of order? What would the customers say? Would I discredit Christ?  Notice that my thoughts were on ME and not on the LORD!

I can surely relate to the story of Martha in the New Testament.

Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. Luke 10:38-42

* Cumbered: 4049 perispao; to distract (with care):
* Careful: 3309 merimnao; to be anxious about:
* Troubled: 5706 thorubazo; to bother, to distract, disturb, clamor, to frighten

The Word says in verse 40 that Martha was ‘cumbered about much serving.’ The word ‘cumbered’ in the Greek means DISTRACTED WITH CARE. When someone is distracted it suggests that there is something else that they should be focusing on. In the story of Martha and Mary it’s clear to see that Mary had chosen to put her focus on Christ while Martha was distracted from His presence and had her focus on all the work that needed to be done. One of the terms used to describe ‘troubled’ means TO FRIGHTEN. Can you see it? Can you see Martha was not only distracted with all the care but she was frightened that the work would not get done? But, Mary, was looking at her Source. She wasn’t worried that there wouldn’t be food. She was looking to the source of her food. Her eyes were kept on Him. Poor Martha. Her eyes were on her circumstances which caused her to become careful and troubled.

If we have a family we know that realistically we cannot sit at Jesus feet the entire day (every day) without suffering some major consequences in our homes. We have many duties that we alone are responsible for. So, how would this principle apply to us as we face each day with a mountain of work before us? I believe the answer has to do with the ‘principle’ of sitting at Jesus feet in our minds and hearts.

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose MIND IS STAYED ON THEE: because he TRUSTETH in thee. Isa 26:3

Hebrews 12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith…

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Phil 4:6-7

This is where I was lacking faith. When I became overwhelmed with the cares and distractions of the day, I did not pray and turn my thoughts to the Lord … in faith…  knowing that He was there and able to work it all together for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28,29). Instead, I kept my eyes focused on the problem and then became overwhelmed. I didn’t go to Him in prayer and ask for His strength. My faith was not in God but my own abilities and strength to accomplish all that I had purposed to do. I was not ‘sitting at His feet’ with the eyes of my heart placed on Him. I was racing about like a wind up toy, going about in my own strength and most of the time going in circles. I was distracted from Him, divided from the knowledge of His presence.

Right about this same time I listened to one of Elisabeth Elliot’s tapes that expounded on the scripture below and it was life changing. The tape was called, The Gift of the Present Moment. She shared that God has assigned our days and our hours. He is the God of each minute. He has also promised to sustain me in each of those moments. He is my Strength and my Helper.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. Ps 16:5

Portion: 4490 manah (maw-naw’); something weighed out, specifically (of food) a ration; also a lot:
Maintainest: 8551 tamak (taw-mak’); to sustain; to obtain, keep fast; to help, follow close:

So how does this work itself out practically on a day by day basis? Well, let’s envision a normal, typical day in our homes. The details may differ but the basic principle remains the same. We all have our ‘mountain’ of work that screams at us the moment our eyelids pry themselves open to the sound of the alarm. We may have a schedule roughly planned out in our minds or we may have written some thoughts down on a paper the night before. Either way, we just KNOW that there is more work to be accomplished than we can physically perform but we start out hopeful with our plan of attack. Things are running fairly smooth and then all of sudden some unforeseen event takes place. It could be a child suddenly becomes ill and needs our full attention or perhaps our husband calls and asks us to drop everything and take care of something he needs done right away or unexpected guests call and want to stop by for a visit today. We each have our own daily interruptions so just fill in the blanks with your particulars. So, at that precise moment we begin to feel overwhelmed. We panic. We think to ourselves, “How in the world am I going to get everything done today that needs to be done if I have to stop and do _____?” Or you may immediately react with frustration and irritation. We become agitated. If our husband is the one asking us to change our plans then we may snap back an unkind response. If the children are the cause we may grumble at them. We may start showing signs of anxiety such as chest pains or labored breathing. Whatever has changed our initial plans becomes our target of misery and we find it hard within ourselves to do the ‘interruption’ as unto the Lord.

Let’s take the above scenario but this time let’s play it out differently as we choose to focus on the Lord.  The moment our eyelids open to the sound of the alarm we lift our hearts toward heaven and give our day to the Lord. We remind ourselves that we belong to Him and that we are nothing without Him. We commit our ways and our plans to Him. We realize we are here for Him and that all we do today is for Him. We trust that He will direct our steps for the day and be our Strength.  Oh, how I long to learn these lessons! 

As the day unfolds and pressures and trials begin to arise, as they most assuredly will, instead of focusing on the problem, we lift our hearts towards Him in prayer. We cast the care of the situation onto Him. We have memorized His Word concerning our weakness to be distracted by the cares of this world, so we immediately ‘put off’ the anxious thoughts and begin to renew our minds by quoting His Word that reminds us that He will direct our steps. We remind ourselves that He is all powerful and works all things according to His will. We trust Him to redeem the situation as He sees fit. We give Him our plans. We give Him our ‘To Do List’ and we consciously make a decision to trust His plan instead of ours. We give Him the details of the things that we fear won’t get done and in FAITH we trust that HE will give us a portion of time, in His own timing, later that day or perhaps another day, to complete that which concerns us. We ‘put on’ prayers and supplications. (Eph 4:22-24) We continue to keep focused on Him and not the problem throughout the day. Our minds and hearts are filled with His peace and on our tongue is the law of kindness towards all in our homes.

Now, we must remember not to make ‘walking by faith’ in our homes another ‘to do chore’ added to our long list or we will just end up in more stress. This is a practice that is developed as we learn more about our wonderful Savior. This is a practice that can only be accomplished by a believer who has God’s Spirit living within them. (If you are not sure that includes you then please go to my home page and click on the icon that says, “Are you a good person?” and “Who is Jesus?”)  Don’t make it a chore but a delight for we even need His grace to turn to Him in faith.

This may seem like a simple truth to some but to a person who is overcome easily by stress and a heavy workload this truth is the difference between living a godly life of peace compared to a life where she is overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, cranky, confused, doubtful and angry.

I know that your desire is the same as mine… to bring God glory in all our duties in the home. Right? His Word says that the just shall LIVE by faith. To me that means, that in my home, I am not to merely perform my daily duties in a timely manner but that in all I do I am to look to the Lord with an eye of faith depending on His strength and power to work through me to accomplish His will. This will bring forth His life instead of the fruit of my flesh.

A few months ago my son and his wife had a new baby. My son works for us and because of the nature of our business he was not able to pick up his wife on the day she came home from the hospital so he asked if I would mind picking them up. So, that morning I had already left the house and was on the way to the hospital when my husband radioed me and said that one of the diesel’s had broken down. He needed me to drive (an hour away) to pick up the part and take it to the shop and then wait until it was finished and take it back to the truck. *Gasp* I  couldn’t believe it! My plans were set! Immediately, I started to get irritated and frustrated. Now, you would think that after 10 years of trying to learn this lesson that I would respond perfectly, right? *Smile* I wish I could say that I did. My first reaction was not good and I responded with the ‘godly’ remark… “Of all days!”   BUT…. immediately the Lord reminded me that He was able to work things out for good (Romans 8:28,29) so I lifted my thoughts up to Him and asked that He help me accept whatever came my way as His plan for my day. I put my faith in Him to work it all together for my good, my daughter-in-love’s good and His glory. The fear, frustration and anxiety left. Peace flooded my mind. During the course of the conversation I had another thought on how we could solve this problem and my husband agreed that it would work out. I didn’t have to change my plans at all. But, let me tell you, I was so grieved that I had initially failed that test. (I am reassured, though, that I’ll have plenty of situations to practice it’s truths, again.)

I also know from past experience that those unexpected events don’t always work out the way I hope it will. Many, many times I have had to stop whatever I was doing and completely change my plans for the day. More times than not. Remember that the ‘good’ God promises us in Romans 8:28,29 is not always the circumstances ending up ‘good’  but Him conforming us into the image of Christ. (Romans 8:28,29)  That is the ultimate good for our lives.. not whether my circumstances turn out the way I have hoped.

The meaning of faith means so much more to me today than it ever has before. The Lord, in all His glory, loves me and has a plan for my life and my home TODAY. He has promised that He is weaving His perfect plan throughout my days. He cares about my home. He cares about the work I do in my home. But, more than all of this, He wants me to put my faith in Him to accomplish His plan for my day.  He wants me to look to Him in all I do. To keep my ‘eye’ on Him, so to speak, as I go about my day. Just as a child sitting in the room with His mother as he plays with his toys concentrates on what he is doing but all the while he is aware that his Mama is there. So it should be with us and the Lord. We must trust Him to work through us to build our homes for Him. And do you know what is even more wonderful… HE IS the author and finisher of our faith. So, if I lack faith to trust Him at those moments when everything seems out of control, I can pray and ask, “Lord, increase my faith” and He will!!!! What an awesome, good God we serve!

Georgene Girouard
September 19, 2002

* God manages perfectly, day and night, year in and year out, the movements of the stars, the wheeling of the planets, the staggering coordination of events that goes on the molecular level in order to hold things together. There is no doubt that He can manage the timing of my days and weeks. Elisabeth Elliot
* Where faith begins, anxiety ends. Where anxiety begins faith ends. George Mueller
* Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Ps 61: 1, 2