Morning and Evening

“In their affliction they will seek Me early.”
— Hosea 5:15

Losses and adversities are frequently the means which the great Shepherd uses to fetch home His wandering sheep; like fierce dogs they worry the wanderers back to the fold. There is no making lions tame if they are too well fed; they must be brought down from their great strength, and their stomachs must be lowered, and then they will submit to the tamer’s hand; and often have we seen the Christian rendered obedient to the Lord’s will by straitness of bread and hard labour. When rich and increased in goods many professors carry their heads much too loftily, and speak exceeding boastfully. Like David, they flatter themselves, “My mountain standeth fast; I shall never be moved.” When the Christian groweth wealthy, is in good repute, hath good health, and a happy family, he too often admits Mr. Carnal Security to feast at his table, and then if he be a true child of God there is a rod preparing for him. Wait awhile, and it may be you will see his substance melt away as a dream. There goes a portion of his estate—how soon the acres change hands. That debt, that dishonoured bill—how fast his losses roll in, where will they end? It is a blessed sign of divine life if when these embarrassments occur one after another he begins to be distressed about his backslidings, and betakes himself to his God. Blessed are the waves that wash the mariner upon the rock of salvation! Losses in business are often sanctified to our soul’s enriching. If the chosen soul will not come to the Lord full-handed, it shall come empty. If God, in His grace, findeth no other means of making us honour Him among men, He will cast us into the deep; if we fail to honour Him on the pinnacle of riches, He will bring us into the valley of poverty. Yet faint not, heir of sorrow, when thou art thus rebuked, rather recognize the loving hand which chastens, and say, “I will arise, and go unto my Father.”

Many of you read our testimony to God’s faithfulness over the past 5 years through the loss of our business, homes and my husband’s present physical disability. At the beginning of this year we settled into a little bungalow in my aunt’s barn which is nestled amongst her 10 acres of almonds. The winter months were difficult for my husband physically while his body adjusted to many new medications.  Several of the medications that were prescribed to relieve pain had horrible side effects which brought their own host of serious problems. The colder temperatures also brought more pain. We spent many of our days at doctor appointments and tests with a few trips to the E.R.  I’ll be honest and share my very heart with you … some of those days felt very ‘dark’ and I struggled at times emotionally as I watched my husband suffer knowing I could do nothing to relieve his pain.  Yet, through the myriad of trials we’re experiencing a richer walk with the Lord as He teaches us more about Himself. Some of these lessons involve dying to dreams that have long been a part of us.  These lessons, although painful, are proving in the long run to bring a deeper joy than we’ve ever known in our Christian walk.

I am finding a greater need to daily rest in the knowledge of God’s sovereignty. I’m slowly learning the lessons of what Amy Carmichael once shared in her poem, “In Acceptance Lieth Peace”.  I am convinced that Scripture teaches a loving God has ‘assigned my portion’ for each day (Psalms 16:5). Some of that portion may involve suffering, some may involve sorrow.  He is the ‘blessed controller’ of all things (1 Timothy 6:15).  What that means to me personally is that even my husband’s pain is not out of His control. 

Elisabeth Elliot once wrote, “I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned “portion.” (“This belongs to it, that does not”)? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives.”

I cannot live in the past of what my husband and I had hoped our future would look like. I cannot live in the fantasy of what we ‘thought’ our future should be. I especially will not mourn the loss of ‘things’ that with time would only rust and be left behind on this earth. I choose to rest in the security of knowing an all loving and all-powerful God has not left His throne but is masterfully in control of each intricate detail of our lives. We seeing His plan unfolding each day and are witnessing His skillful craftsmanship as He weaves all of our circumstances into a pattern for good.. even the painfully, hard ones! I pray His lessons will continue to change us and be  used to conform us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ.  (Romans 8:28,29)

You know.. the amusing thing is that the ideals we had for our future were no way as glorious as what we are experiencing today…. even in the midst of the painful times. Our ‘imagined’ goals focused on the temporary things of this world and how we would live financially in our old age. We labored to that end. A very small portion of our imaginations for the future had to do with God’s kingdom. These days my husband and I talk much about the Lord’s kingdom and how we hope to serve more. God is teaching us to ‘seek first His kingdom’ and we’re finding a huge portion of joy as our focus becomes set more on the eternal things rather than the temporal.

‘Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.  Do you believe this? John 11:25,26.  ‘She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

“As I have pondered Jesus’ piercing question in recent years -’Do you believe this?’ – it has struck me that that question confront us at every turn.  The Bible teaches us many things, and over and over again, in moments of joy and sorrow in our lives, Jesus asks us through His Word, ‘Do you believe this?  Imagine that question as a watermark printed on every page of your Bible, faintly visible behind every truth you find there, always challenging, always confronting.  The question is not simply, ‘Do you agree that this is true?’, but more fully, ‘Will you now live (thinking, feeling, speaking, acting, striving, rejoicing) as one who agrees that this is true?’

.. A cloud of cursedness now rests over creation. The wrath of God is revealed against this sinful human race.  We are powerless on our own to undo the deathly damage that we have done.  Christ came in power to accomplish what we could not, destroying death and gaining life by his own life and death on our behalf.  Because he did so, a whole new world awaits us, a resurrection world. Because he did so, even death has been disarmed.  Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life.  And he asks you,

“Do you believe this?”

My God Is True! Lessons Learned Along Cancer’s Dark Road

Hubby and I continue to watch for ways that we can make money from home. This week my dear husband spent most of the morning cracking a large bag of nuts that were given to us free of charge. (He made the time pass quicker by listening to sermons on his IPOD)  I’m not sure how much money he ‘earned’ but I’m thinking probably close to $8.00.  I have one more large bag that he’ll hopefully get to this coming week.  He also cracked a small amount of pecan nuts that were given to us free.  

This excerpt is from Charles Spurgeon.  My heart is so saddened when I think of loved ones who ‘believe’ they are Christians but have never put their trust in Christ and His righteousness. I fear for their eternal destiny and cry out that Christ would become altogether lovely and irresistible to them. 

“Beloved friends, as I look round upon you all, and gaze into your faces, this question rushes from my heart to my lips,-Have all of you received Christ Jesus the Lord? Alas! I am sorrowfully persuaded that there are some of you who have not received him. He has knocked again and again, with that pierced hand of his, at the door of your heart, but you have not let him in. This fountain of the water of life has flowed close to your feet, yet you have not drunk of it. Christ has been set before you as the Bread of life sent down from heaven, but you have not eaten of him; you have refused him even until now. “Nay,” say you, “you are too severe in charging us with having refused Christ, for we have not done that.” Well, it seems to me that this is just what you have done; but I will put it more softly, and say that, at any rate, you have not received him. You have put him off to a more convenient season, which will probably never come to you. O poor souls, poor souls, how sad is your state in not having received Christ Jesus the Lord!

Every word that he has spoken is sweeter than honey and the honeycomb, but sweeter far are the lips with which he uttered those words.

Every command of his is to be esteemed more highly than the finest of fine gold, but as for the King who gave those commands, “he is altogether lovely.”

Human language cannot describe him, and yet you have received him, his very self; you have received him into your hearts, to dwell there as your sole Lord and Master.

You have, received him as your life, for you live through him; and you receive him day by day as the Bread of life upon which your soul feeds,

and as the Water of life which quenches the thirst of your soul.

You have not merely received his offices, his gifts, his grace, his promises, but you have received him.

 He is the center of your confidence, the target of your hopes!”

(To learn more about Jesus and the hope of heaven, click on the button in the sidebar at the top of the page that asks if you are a good person).

The cry of my heart….

“There is no pleasure comparable to not being captivated by any external thing whatever.” (Thomas Wilson, 1663-1735)

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

“It is a bad world, an incredibly bad world. But I have discovered in the midst of it a quiet and holy people who have learned a great secret. They have found a joy that is a thousand times better than any pleasure of our sinful life. They are despised and persecuted, but they care not. They are masters of their souls. They have overcome the world. These people are the Christians – and I am one of them.” (Saint Cyprian, 200-258)