May 20, 2009

  • A Woman’s Ambition vs. Position, Part 1

    Our budget is very tight theses days so it’s become apparent that I will no longer be able to support our other website called, A Woman that Fears the Lord. I’ve thought a lot about what to do with all the writings and have decided to transfer them to this blog since it cost so much less. So, my plan is to transfer one article a week and then I’ll post a link on the side bar. Last week was my first entry which was the book list.

    Many of these articles were lessons the Lord taught me in my marriage. We had some very rough years in the beginning. My husband was not saved when I married him and my Christianity was very marginal. They were very hard times but I’m thankful for all the Lord taught us.

    This article is to encourage the woman of God who is tempted by her ambition (or society) to see God’s commands for a woman as less important.   I come from a family where women were encouraged to go to college and have careers. I am the ‘odd duck’ and have been looked upon as not fulfilling my potential. Society has a strong influence on women and they can be pulled away from God’s commandments if they do not keep their mind renewed in what His Word actually says they are to be doing.

    So.. here goes the first in a two part article. I’ll post the second part hopefully tomorrow..

    *~*~*

    This past winter I started to type an old reprint called “Of Domestical Duties” onto our web page. There are two charts in this book, one which lists the duties of the wives, and another chart which shows the aberrations or what causes a woman to deviate from her duties. I was intrigued that the first aberration was AMBITION. I had always only associated ambition with career women, but now my curiosity was piqued as I began to wonder if ambition may also be a temptation to those of us who are keepers at home.

    The Bible is full of examples of holy and unholy ambition. “Gideon had the holy ambition of wanting to save Israel, Joshua of conquering the land, Nehemiah of restoring the kingdom and Paul of planting a self- propagating church in every major center of the Roman Empire.”(1) On the other hand, Jezebel, Absalom, the mother of the sons of Zebedee, and Simon the former magician are some examples that come to mind when I think of unholy ambition. They sought to exalt self and fulfill their lusts and desires instead of bringing glory to God through obedience.

    Ambition becomes a sin when it’s aim is fulfilling personal lusts instead of fulfilling the Word of God. One dear friend helped me look for a biblical term that might be synonymous with the ungodly form of ambition. We decided on the term: LUST.

    (1 Jn 2:16) For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

    Matthew Henry’s Commentary says about 1 John 2:a
    “(1) There is the lust of the flesh. The flesh here, being distinguished from the eyes and the life, imports the body. The lust of the flesh is, subjectively, the humour and appetite of indulging fleshly pleasures; and, objectively, all those things that excite and inflame the pleasures of the flesh. This lust is usually called luxury.
    (2) There is the lust of the eyes. The eyes are delighted with treasures; riches and rich possessions are craved by an extravagant eye; this is the lust of covetousness.
    (3) There is the pride of life. A vain mind craves all the grandeur, equipage, and pomp of a vain-glorious life; this is ambition, and thirst after honour and applause. This is, in part, the disease of the ear; it must be flattered with admiration and praise.”

    Lust is defined as the following:
    Lust – (Strong’s 1939) epithumia (ep-ee-thoo-mee’-ah); a longing (especially for what is forbidden)
    Lust – (Vine’s Expository) a phrase which describes the emotions of the soul, the natural tendency towards things evil. Such “lusts” are not necessarily base and immoral, they may be refined in character, but are evil if inconsistent with the will of God.

    So, can we now say that a biblical definition of ungodly ambition is ‘a longing for that which is forbidden?’

    *ungodly ambition / lust = a longing for that which is forbidden*

    How do ungodly ambitions seek to draw and entice us away from our biblical role? Although all the situations below may not be considered sin, they have the potential to entice us away from our God ordained role as a keeper at home. Have you ever been taken captive by any of these thoughts or actions?

    1. You would like to have *a little extra spending money.*

    2. You feel that your husband controls the budget too tightly and you’re tired of having to *ask his permission* to spend even a penny.

    3. You’re *embarrassed* by the way your furniture looks, or your car, or the clothes you wear.

    4. You’re *bored* with the daily care of children. The thought of something NEW and EXCITING is appealing and ‘drawing’.

    5. You want *more & more things to do* and yet become tired of them easily, and so you quickly jump from one project, or ministry, to another.

    6. You *volunteer* at church to the point that you become behind in your duties at home.

    7. You feel *guilty* for just being at home taking care of your husband and children, and allow family and friend’s innuendo’s (that you’re lazy or not reaching your full potential because you’re MERELY a homemaker) influence you. This leads you to begin desiring and pursuing other things.

    8. You think that a career would satisfy and fulfill you more than being a homemaker.

    9. You think that once the children become school aged that you should help your husband earn a living. Or that you will need to go back to school to finish your education. The only reason you are staying home now is because the children are not in school all day.

    10. You want your children to achieve academically. You want them to be a success in this world. You decide the only way to achieve this is by putting them in a Christian school which means that you will need to get a job in order to pay for it.

    “USA Today” wrote an article in 1989 called “Busy Women Let Housework Slide But Not Jobs.” The article surveyed women who were stressed-out and under pressure to find out what they were letting go of to make their lives more manageable. The article summarized, ” When strapped for time, busy women push friends, housework, husbands, and sex to life’s back burner.” The poll found that the only two things women would not let go of was a job outside the home and their children. (Which is not really true! They may have actively been forsaking their children, too!)

    The fantasy of the “Super Woman” scenario is just that, a fantasy. We are not Super Woman! There is only so much of us to go around. If we give the majority of our time and thoughts to things other than our home and family then that is where our hearts and focus will be. If our focus is on business or even “ministry” then what is left of us for our dear husbands & family?

    The temptations of ‘ambition’ can surface in not so blatant ways such as the desire to fulfill the image of a ‘successful’ home schooling family. This perfect home schooling family wants the *smartest* kids, the *most stylishly dressed* children, their children involved in all the *finer* activities (that will invariably draw those children into a terrific self-focus!), only the *best curricula*, and one day the *most prestigious* colleges and universities will do.

    The temptations of ‘ambition’ can surface in even more subtle ways. We may feel that we’ve ‘not arrived’ if our home life does not reflect what WE *think* an ideal family should be, so we strive and push our families to fit into the mold we’ve chosen, disregarding what GOD would have us do & become.

    GODLY AMBITION

    1 Thess.4:11 “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you.”

    What is ‘your own business?’ Have you ever gone to the Scriptures and studied what God says about how you should be spending your days or have you merely taken on the philosophy of other women or followed those you admire? It is difficult to stand against the temptation of ungodly ambition if you do not know what God’s word says you should be doing.

    Our every thought needs to be taken captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5)

    Are we making it our ambition to be obedient to what God has commanded in His Word and the principles He has given us to follow? Do you know what God has to say about how you spend your days?

    A Godly Woman…
    ~ will look well to the ways of her household (Pr 31:27)
    ~ will not eat the bread of idleness (Pr 31:27)
    ~ is wise if she builds her house & foolish if she tears it down with her own hands (Pr 14:1)
    ~ is not to be so busy with “busy-ness” and be *distracted* & irritated by it, that she neglects to sit at Jesus’ feet & listen to Him, which He said is the better part (as per Martha & Mary’s example in Luke 10:38-39)
    ~ is to do all her work heartily as unto the Lord (Col 3:23)
    ~ is to be a keeper at home (Titus 2:5)
    ~ is to submit to her own husband (Titus 2:5)
    ~ is to fear the Lord (Pr 31:30)
    ~ is to support her husband and help him, as he sees to it that their children come to a personal faith in Christ (Titus 1:6)

    Our ambitions will draw us away from our calling if our minds are not renewed in these truths. Do we TRULY want to obey God’s Word when it says that we should be keepers at home or do we merely want to fulfill the lusts of our flesh? The Israelites did not listen to, or obey, God so He gave them up to their own heart’s lust. (Psalm 81:11,12) We are told (in 1 Cor. 10:6,11) that the Israelites were set as an example that we should not lust after evil things.

    Ladies, God’s Word is profitable for our instruction in righteousness. His Word has given us specific instruction on how to deal with these ambitions that desire to lure us away from our God-ordained roles.

    We are to:
    ~ crucify the flesh with its lusts (Gal 5:24)
    ~ flee youthful lusts (2 Tim. 2:22)
    ~ deny lusts (Titus 2:12)
    ~ abstain from fleshly lusts (desires), which war against our souls (1 Peter 2:11, 12)

    And instead:
    ~ walk in the Spirit and we won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Gal.5:16)
    ~ put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts (Romans 13:14)
    ~ Be obedient and do not fashion ourselves to former lusts (1 Pet 1:14,15)

    Satan will use our fleshly lusts to tempt us to believe we have needs and desires that can only be met ‘out there’ or by ‘just one more thing.’ Our lives will become unfruitful if we allow the Word of God to be choked by the ‘cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things.’ (Mark 4:19)

    As God’s children we must examine these desires. Do the scriptures teach that these desires should be fulfilled if they are contrary to God’s word? Or do they say that we are to die daily (1 Cor 15:31) and walk in the Spirit so that we will not fulfill the desires of the flesh (Gal 5:16)? Walking in the Spirit means that we walk in obedience to what God’s Word says we should do. We have been created for our husband’s sake (Gen 2:18-24, 1 Cor 11:9), to be an “help meet to him,” & not for the purpose of fulfilling our own desires and ambitions.

    Let’s take a few of the temptations we mentioned earlier and find a scripture / biblical principle to use as we cast down each vain imagination.

    1. You would like to have *a little extra spending money.* GOD’S WORD SAYS: We are to be content with food and raiment. (1 Tim 6:8) Ask: Do I really “need” all, or even any, of these other things?

    2. You feel that your husband controls the budget too tightly and you’re tired of having to *ask his permission* to spend even a penny. GOD’S WORD SAYS: We wives are to submit ourselves unto our own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph 5:22) Ask: In what ways can I show respect for my husband’s choices?

    3. You are *embarrassed* by the way your furniture looks, or your car, or the clothes you wear. GOD’S WORD SAYS: Give thanks always for ALL things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Eph 5: 20) Ask: How can I fix-up or make do with what God has given me?

    4. You’re *bored* with the daily care of children. The thought of something NEW and EXCITING is appealing and ‘drawing.’ GOD’S WORD SAYS: Children are a heritage and a reward (Ps 127:3) and we’re to be training them up in the way they should go (Pr 22:6) doing ALL things heartily, as unto the Lord! (Col 3:23) Ask: How can I change my attitude for the better toward my job at home today?

    5. You want *more & more* things to do and yet become tired of them easily, and so you quickly jump from one project, or ministry, to another.
    GOD’S WORD SAYS: (Have as our goal) to know Him, and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings… (Phil 3:10) Ask: How can I focus my time and energies on coming to know my Savior better?

    6. You *volunteer* at church to the point that you become behind in your duties at home.
    GOD’S WORD SAYS: To be …. Keepers at home…so THAT the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:5)
    Ask: What are the specific priorities God has already given me in His Word?

    7. You feel *guilty* for just being at home taking care of your husband and children, and so let family and friend’s innuendo’s (that you’re lazy or not reaching your full potential because you’re MERELY a homemaker) influence you. This leads you to begin desiring and pursuing other things.
    GOD’S WORD SAYS: A woman is to be well reported of for good works; (like) having brought up children. (1 Timothy 5:4) Ask: Am I seeking to please man or God?

    8. You think that a career would satisfy and fulfill you more than being a wife, mother, & homemaker. GOD’S WORD SAYS: Let nothing be done through strife and vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. (Phil 2:3)
    Ask: What specific things can I do today to be looking out for the interests of OTHERS first?

    9. You think that once the children become school aged that you should help your husband earn a living. Or that you will need to go back to school to finish your education. The only reason you are staying home now is because the children are not in school all day. GOD’S WORD SAYS: Women are to be keepers at home. (Titus 2:4,5) KEEPERS: (Strong’s 3626) – a guard, a stayer at home, i.e. domestically inclined (a good “keeper of the house/home”) Or from oikourgos: oikos= home +ergon= work; one who works at home
    Ask: What work, or further education, – from home – (if any) is reasonable for me to pursue?

    10. You want your children to achieve academically. You want them to be a success in this world. You decide the only way to achieve this is by putting them in a Christian School which means that you will need to get a job in order to pay for it.
    GOD’S WORD SAYS: To seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness and ALL these things shall be added unto you. (Matt. 6:33)
    Ask: Will this thing (fill in the blank_____) lead my children TOWARD God or away from Him and spiritual growth? Will He not provide ALL they truly need AS I am obeying His command to be a keeper at home?

    Paul said he died daily leaving for us an exhortation that we too must expect to fight a daily war against our flesh and the lusts. For daily we are enticed to throw down our aprons and find so-called ‘true & lasting fulfillment’ in some other role than what God has called us to. The lack of contentment in what God HAS called us to, and the lust for ‘just a little bit more’ whether it is more money, prestige or personal fulfillment is still enticing women today just as it did when Paul wrote this exhortation.

    Beware, Sisters, that you don’t fall into the devil’s snare.

    Protect your heart & eyes by not filling them with :
    ~ Soap operas that promote unbiblical lifestyles
    ~ Modern women’s magazines that promote luxury
    ~ Books that weave ungodly & romanticized notions of love & lust
    ~ Movies that glamorize the working woman by showing higher education and careers as the ‘goal’ of every woman
    ~ Friends that entice you away from the Lord and His plan & purpose for your life

    Saturate your mind in God’s word and what He has called you to do.
    ~ Memorize and meditate on scriptures that speak to your goal as a married woman
    ~ Make sure that your closest friends are those who have embraced their God assigned roles
    ~ Fill your heart & home with HIM!
    ~ Vigorously pursue the things outlined in His Word for a godly woman

    Begin to realize that the enemy of your soul and the lusts of your flesh seek to entice you to leave your duty in order that your life may blaspheme God’s word and commandments (Titus 2:5). Let us persevere to make it our ambition to lead a quiet life, to work with our hands and to mind our ‘own business.’ (1 Thess.4:11 NAS)

    *aberration – to wander from the right way or moral rectitude

    (1) The Complete Book of Everyday Christianity
    (2) Rocking the Roles by NavPress

    Georgene
    Copyrighted 1998. You may copy this article in it’s entirety.

    End of Part 1. Continue to Part 2.

    (Many more scriptures regarding a Godly Woman’s role may be found at this page: Scriptures to Encourage a Godly Woman)

    Copyright 1998. Georgene Girouard
    You may reproduce these pages in their entirety to share with others.