January 29, 2009
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Do you expect your husband to serve you?
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: In the past couple of decades, there’s been a movement challenging men to love and serve their wives. Every woman I know is very encouraged when we see God turning men’s hearts toward the Lord and their families.
We need to remember that God didn’t make men to be helpers to their wives. God made the wife to be a helper to her husband. In today’s evangelical world, it’s “politically correct” to challenge men to go home and serve their wives. It’s not so popular to talk to women about their responsibility to serve their husbands.
If we as women focus on what we think we deserve—what men “ought” to do for us—we’re likely to get hurt and resentful when our expectations aren’t fulfilled.
If your husband’s learning to serve you, that’s great. But remember, you’re never more like Jesus than when you’re serving other people.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Comments (8)
I have never thought of this before. We have always tried to take care of each other. He takes care of me by working and supplying our daily needs. I keep the house and make meals. We take care of each other whenever we are sick. Sometimes that means that he has to serve me by stepping in and doing some of my daily work. Sometimes it means my stepping in and doing some of his regular chores.
so true
I see it as more of a warning on an ‘attitude’ that EXPECTS a husband to serve us. There will be times in all our marriages when we help each other.
I remember a teacher saying to beware when you hear your husband start asking you A LOT if YOU need help since we are the ones who were created to help THEM. That has always stuck with me and is a good reminder when I get things turned around in my head.
Scripture is clear that we are our husband’s helpmeet….he is the leader. We are to serve with a heart of gratitude not grumbling. It is also clear in other passages that the body in Christ is to serve one another, so it is appropriate when our husbands serve us. It must however be in the forefront of our minds to serve them and not the other way around.
Very true! Thanks again, Georgene!
Definitely it is important to serve our husbands, and a privilege to do so; it is also (as stated by other commentors above) important to have the husband (& all Christians) serving each other. Even as Christ left an example for us to follow. Gal. 5:13-14 (KJV) ~ For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Also (here -a little clearer in NIV, but KJV says it, too) I Pet. 3:7 ~ Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. I always appreciate the good things that you share here on your site. Have a good weekend, Georgene.
I think husbands are certainly called to help, as wives are. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Jesus was the ultimate servant. If husbands are to emulate Him, then that means they are to serve their wives selflessly.
Wives should definitely help and serve, too. It’s everyone’s responsibility to worry about his or her own serving and not be pestering the other person to serve more.
There’s a whole lot of truth there. There’s definitely a double standard when it comes to one gender serving another. To suggest a woman serve her wife would, to many, be the ultimate insult. Even Christian women (myself among them) sometimes expect our husbands to serve us. Sometimes we don’t even realize it, but it’s hard to stay completely out of the culture.
~Kate
“Which Proverbs 14:1 Woman?”
http://www.proverbs14-1.blogspot.com