October 1, 2008

• Pausing… for Menopause….!

  This post will probably only interest my older Xanga friends but if you are in your AUTUMN YEARS of womanhood then you are likely to relate to some of the things I’m going to share here today. And for you younger women… you may want to take note of what I’m about to share and tuck it away in your memory for later in life.

  
  

  There are so many dynamics in this phase of life caused ‘menopause’ that can touch just about every aspect of a woman’s life. I’ve personally seen it effect my emotions, my physical state and also my walk with the Lord. Recently, the Lord has been teaching me some lessons in the area of my emotions which seem to greatly effect the physical area, also.

  
  

  My ‘nerves’ seem to be one part of my body that are being changed through this process. Things seem to ‘bug’ me that I used to be able to just dismiss with seemingly no trouble before. Thoughts seem to get stuck longer and more exaggerated and I find myself going over and over them if I’m not careful to cast them down. Anxiety and the temptation to ‘fret’ have increased. Once I find myself in an agitated state it takes much longer to get back to a calm disposition. In the middle of all of this the hot flashes kick in and I feel like someone has just thrown me into a hot oven and shut the door so I can’t breathe! Can anyone else relate? I work VERY HARD at not allowing my emotions to have free reign but I’ve found that this whole menopausal ‘thingie’ can be very challenging.

  
  

  So, I’ve been praying and searching for help in this area. Not only for my sake but for my dear husband’s sake and my children and grandchildren who are living with us. I oftentimes do not even realize that I’m being hormonal until I’m in the thick of it and by then I’ve already caused some discomfort to my dear husband. (He is a saint by the way!)

  
  

  Recently, I’ve received counsel from several sources that seems to be bringing great results already. Believe it or not I’ve received great comfort from the book called Stepping Heavenward. This is the only book I own (and I own a LOT of books) that I try to read every year besides my bible. No matter what I seem to be going through at the time I find new little nuggets on how to handle some situation in my present circumstances. Recently, I picked this book up again because I remembered the main character of the book had family members living with her and I thought perhaps I could receive some instruction on how to love those currently under my roof even more.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  There is one section in the book where Katherine’s sister-in-law has left their home to be married. It seems Martha carried much of the workload so once she left it fell to Katherine. The family was under financial strain due to the father-in-law (who also lived with them) past debts which Ernest (Katherine’s husband) was paying off. Katherine wanted to help her husband as much as possible by sewing and knitting all the families clothes.

  
  

  Katherine’s nerves were goaded into an irritable state by the workload she had put herself under to save money and cut expenses. It was greatly distressing her that she had been so impatient with her children and husband. Her wise husband gave her this counsel after she had apologized to him for her ill-temper:

  
  

  …”I want you to make a distinction for yourself, which I make for you, between mere ill-temper, and the irritability that is the result of a goaded state of nerves.”

  
  

  “Now I am sure if you could once make up your mind in the fear of God, never to undertake more work of any sort than you can carry on calmly, quietly, without hurry or flurry, and the instant you find yourself growing nervous and like one out of breath, would stop and take breath, you would find this simple, common-sense rule doing for you what no prayers and tears could ever accomplish. Will you try it for one month, my darling?”

  
  

  Then he goes on to tell her, ” You are not ill-tempered but quick-tempered; the irritability which annoys you so is a physical infirmity which will disappear the moment you cease to be goaded into it by the exacting mistress you have hitherto been to yourself.”

  
  

  Such wise counsel and it hit home! How often I have wound myself up physically and mentally because of a load I have put upon myself that neither my husband or anyone else has demanded. My nerves become agitated and I have to fight with everything in me not to vent it onto my husband. Yet, no matter how hard I try he can also SENSE the turmoil within me. In turn I end up taking my eyes off of him and onto myself. I find that I am no longer the kind wife but the hired slave who is resentful of the seemingly ‘hard taskmaster’ which really is not my husband but ME!

  
  

  This counsel came right on the heels of the example from another woman in not taking on outside obligations at this season in her life that may cause an extra burden on her nerves that would in turn cause her the temptation to be irritable with her husband.

  
  

  Both spoke volumes to me. I hope to share how the Lord is using this to instruct me on how I choose to save money in my home. Hopefully I can post it in a few weeks on Frugal Friday. We’re in the middle of getting our rental in shape to be rented so I’m spending my days painting for the time being.

  
  

  Hope everyone is well! I feel bad I haven’t responded to the last comments but hope to soon!

  • 9:10 pm
  • 17 Comments