September 23, 2008

• Fear

  I remember as a young child… possibly third or fourth grade….. being so paralyzed by fear that I’d lay awake at night for hours tormented by every noise I’d hear. The nighttime news was just the fuel my already fearful and anxious heart needed to kindle a pattern that would follow me well into my adult years.

  
  

  I’d lie there, in my clean warm bed for hours, worrying and fretting over every unfamiliar sound and finally when I could not bare it any longer I would cry out for mother. She would rush in to comfort me the best she could but she was never able to teach me how to free myself from those anxious thoughts. For the next night I would be back to my ‘watch’ over each sound I heard in our home until I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

  
  

  One would think that these fears would have left when I accepted Christ as my Savior. But, I continued to wrestle with them for many, many years after the Lord saved me. I was never taught how to take thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ and His Word until years later.

  
  

  At one point in our marriage my husband had to work out of town. The fears increased when he was gone for a week at a time. Finally, one night the Lord spoke to me through His Word and for the first time my heart was at peace.

  
  

  Here is the scripture He gave ..

  
  

  
  Unless the LORD watches over the city,

  
  

  the watchman stays awake in vain. Ps 127:1

  
  

   

  
  

   This is what His Word impressed on my soul…

  
  

  … The watchman (that was ME) could stay awake listening all night but it would be in vain if the Lord was not already watching (protecting) the city (my home).

  
  

  What broke through to my understanding was this… Why are you staying up watching and listening when the LORD is already watching over your home? He never sleeps. He never slumbers.

  
  

  I had to ask myself … ‘Do you trust God to keep ‘watch’ over your home? If so, then act like it by going to sleep and trust Him to not let down His watch or His guard.’

  
  

  I began to memorize that verse and repeat it anytime I was fearful. I’d quote it and then ask the Lord to increase my faith as I put my trust in God to watch over the house while I was sleeping. Later in verse two it says…

  
  

  … for he gives his beloved sleep!
  
  And He did!

  
  

  I love this old Wesley hymn…

  
  

   TO the hills I lift mine eyes (Ps. 121)

  
  

   TO the hills I lift mine eyes,
  The everlasting hills;
  Streaming thence in fresh supplies,
  My soul the Spirit feels.
  Will he not his help afford?
  Help, while yet I ask, is given:
  God comes down; the God and Lord
  That made both earth and heaven.

  
  

  Faithful soul, pray always; pray,
  And still in God confide;
  He thy feeble steps shall stay,
  Nor suffer thee to slide:
  Lean on thy Redeemer’s breast;
  He thy quiet spirit keeps;
  Rest in him, securely rest;
  Thy watchman never sleeps.

  
  

  Neither sin, nor earth, nor hell
  Thy Keeper can surprise;
  Careless slumbers cannot steal
  On his all-seeing eyes;
  He is Israel’s sure defence;
  Israel all his care shall prove,
  Kept by watchful providence,
  And ever-waking love.

  
  

  See the Lord, thy Keeper, stand
  Omnipotently near!
  Lo! he holds thee by thy hand,
  And banishes thy fear;
  Shadows with his wings thy head;
  Guards from all impending harms:

  
  

  Round thee and beneath are spread
  The everlasting arms.

  
  

  Christ shall bless thy going out,
  Shall bless thy coming in;
  Kindly compass thee about,
  Till thou art saved from sin;
  Like thy spotless Master, thou,
  Filled with wisdom, love, and power,
  Holy, pure, and perfect, now,
  Henceforth, and evermore.

  
  

  
  
  
  (from Hymns of John Wesley, PC Study Bible formatted electronic database

  
  

  Copyright © 2003 by Biblesoft, Inc. All rights reserved.)
  

  
  

  
   

  • 11:30 pm
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